I will always remember her hunched in the chair, unable to hold her own head up. Asking for help to position herself in s comfortable position. Her face bloated and tired from all the medicine and steroids. I will never be able to get the dying image out of my head. 
I never wanted to see her at her worse, I never wanted to remember her weak and helpless. 

I never wanted to see her that way. Now I have one image that will tarnish the last few memories I have with her. 

I don’t want to get a phone call saying that her light is gone. I do t want to accept that is the future I have to face. I can’t cope with the emotions I have to deal with. I can’t be stronge when inside I’m falling apart. I don’t want to remember.

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