Christmas is the time for families coming together, to reflect on the year and to appreciate the time we spend together.
But this Christmas I’m numb. I feel as though I’m smiling for the sake it, because it’s what everyone expects from me, to smile and be happy. To forget the year I’ve had, the arguments we’ve all shared and the accusations made against me. I’m trying to put on a brave face to stop the names being said or the disgusted looks pointed in my direction. So I may be paranoid, that’s part of the package I’m afraid. But I’m not going to apologise for what’s going on with me, no I’m not putting it on and no I don’t want the attention from everybody. I want people to understand.
Unfortunately this Christmas I’ve had to push all my depression aside, pretend to be happy and say I’m fine to please everyone and hide what is really going on. After all it is Christmas and everyone needs to be happy at Christmas.