So this year will begin how last year finished; silence, tears, tantrums, panic attacks and sleepless nights.

No I don’t think things are going to get better anytime soon. No I’m not going to give up and no I won’t keep pretending if everything is ok. Pretending is more exhausting and I honestly need to save all the energy I have for my son.

I will try and make some changes in the new year, not for anyone else but myself and my little boy. I will give myself the compassion I need to get through this and focus on the things that I really go care about.

I’m not going to be positive when I know it’s false and I won’t let anybody treat my like I’m worthless, it won’t make me any better. But again I’m going to try.

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